The end of his Journey...

 To see the life drain out of someones eyes, someone you love... I would say is one of the worst experiences in the world. I was too much of an child to understand the implications of what I saw then but now I understand. To see someones soul slowly leave their body. They say the eyes are the windows to ones soul, hence it is apt to say ones soul leaves through their eyes. To see that liveliness abruptly leave, to know that the person is never coming back, talking to you or smile at you, feels like the end of the world. When you think about them when they are gone, you imagine all the time you wish you had with them, you wish that all the hurt you had caused them was erased. Only if you knew it was the last time you would speak to them, you would have talked about so many things, and not just make small talk cause for you, it seems like just another day.
I wish I did a lot of things differently. I didn't think it was the last time I would see you. I didn't realise the impact on my life, that day was going to have on me. I am sorry I didn't let you do whatever you wanted to do the night before you left me forever. I wish I slept next to you I wish you held me in your arms that night. I wish for a lot of things. But all they can be are wishes. I wish I could go back in time and do everything differently. I wish I could have saved you. I saw your soul leave you. I saw that limp body with those magical blue eyes that told me you were leaving me forever. But I hoped, I hoped like I never had that they could have saved you. I saw them trying to revive you with adrenaline and shocking you. But you wouldn't get up. They made me leave and I made a promise. I told her you would be alright and you are simply just sick like always and that it would all be better by the afternoon. That we would all go home and have dinner together and fuss about you. But I broke the promise cause I didn't know you were gone by them not at least consciously. And finally when I got home I heard them. I thought they were wrong like always I thought I was right, that you wouldn't leave us and go. But you were gone. Just left us alone. You knew you would be gone hence you had your goodbye moment, but I didn't you could have told me. I would have made the most of it. I would have had my goodbyes too. I still hate you for leaving me like that. I didn't know what to do. I was just a kid... Just a kid. And you still affect my life so much that after 13 years, I cry over it.. Why did you do this to me...
You know I dreamt that you came back that night, that you were just pretending to be dead. Just that you had gone to Kashi. But when I woke up my beautiful home was destroyed, everyone was destroyed.
I still love you so much, I always feel like you are with me, looking over me and smiling and admiring whatever I do and trying to lead me on the right path. I didn't realise this then, but I did what you wanted me too, to honour you, I studied. I still wish what my life would have been like if you were there to guide me through it.. Then I am back to reality but I realise that you are always with me...
Please guide me through this treacherous journey called life and I hope someday I make you as proud as I am of you... Miss you Granddad..!! <3

My stranger Family..!! :)

 I love travelling by train... Its the journey that always is ready to teach me something or the other.
So let me begin by saying, I am back in India, studying in a different state from my own and living in a hostel. As everyone knows, living in a hostel entails travelling home every chance you get, and this story was the one of the best times I have ever had travelling alone.

 My first time travelling alone to my hostel, it was on Diwali day. I had to leave on an amazing festival day just cause my college doesn't like to give more holidays..!! (Boooo).. So moving on, my train was starting at 11.00 am!!! I mean who actually goes on a train at 11 in the morning on an festival day???? Just me and some very kind hearted people that I met on the journey. So I get into my coach and I see there are only about 20 or so people on a coach for 72.!! First sign of awesomeness is an empty train with your compartment consisting of the only passenger, i.e.. YOU..!! Free space to move around everywhere.! So, I tell my parents how happy I am of this, and suddenly pops an uncle who says don't worry we will keep bothering you.! And that's when I met my fellow passengers.! A family of 13, a grandad and his wife, with their 3 kids and their wivesand their grand kids.! I felt right at home when I knew they were such a big group. Knowing that all my family were gathered back at home (Its Diwali..!! So everyone get together with their families) and that I am missing maybe the best family get together of the year was a tad bit depressing, but still here was another family as big as ours, ready to take care of me, cause I was alone. So my dad being the social butterfly, started talking to them telling about me and where I was going and so on and the other family gets to the talking. My dad, happy because the other family said they would take care of me all through the journey was ready to say goodbye to me so easily. And as the train departed, I waved goodbye to my parents, and got settled into my coach...

 Not 5 minutes had passed, when the people from the other family started making conversations with me and I was offered Diwali sweets and savories. I ate so much that day that I dont think I would have had that much even if I had stayed home. Such was the kind-hearted nature of the family that not 1 hour would pass without another sweet coming my way or another savoury dish or someone sitting with me and asking about my life.! I enjoyed it so much that I felt at home and missed none of the silly talks and quabbles we usually have at home. I was offered lunch and dinner and I ate it too cause you can't deny such a thing as food (Hostel life ka impact - DONT DENY FOOD)! And I was so happy to see that even the food they had would have been the same thing my family would have prepared if we were travelling together. I shared many a laughs and silly moments tracking a small mice that was trapped between our compartments, moving our luggages from the ground to a higher place and seeing how the kids were jumping from seat to seat, as if the floor was lava, afraid of the mice. I remember that I got off the train at a station to buy some water, and how I was reprimanded for doing such a thing as getting out alone, and not taking their help.! How do strangers show such good will and sweetness to others? I can never know that.. I must say I was lucky to be in such a company as that family, that made my Diwali (Celebrated as awesome as christmas) turn into such sweetness that can never be found in the sweets we make for Diwali..Such was that lovely day with complete strangers who just felt like home to me. I wish all my journey from henceforth were like this and my special thanks to a lovely family that made me aspire to be like them when we travel again....... <3 

Home Sweet Home....!!

 So, here I am in my room well settled... I have often wondered if I would fit in somewhere else in the World other than the one I call home, and I finally do know the answer. It doesn't matter if you are in a different country, with a different spoken language, and different ethnicity in the end we all are the same, we are Humans, Homo sapiens.

 However different the customs are, I found out that everywhere you go, the people tend to be the same, fall into some categories or the other. You find the kind ones, who help you through the different customs, the interested ones who ask you questions about your country, and the not so good ones (don't want to describe them).

 I feel like am Home, and that for me is the most happiest realization I ever had.

 I have had the pleasure to share my home with people from different cultural backgrounds. And the conversations we have has showed me that although we had lived miles apart, we sometimes do have the same love for movies, series, and the same problems. It is so refreshing to have a discussion with a generation of people my age, who face the same problems as me in their countries and who want to change the World.

 For someone who's never had to leave her home and stay alone, this experience is new to me. But am falling in love with it. The new people I meet through my room mates, the exotic cooking and tasting sessions and exposure to their world is a new window to the world I thought I knew. And as always when you put a bunch of girls together you find some common love for things such as ice-cream, pizza's, actors, movies and so on.

 After a tiring day at the lab, and walking through the cold winds, once you enter your home and get greeted by a wave of smiles and enquiries, you know your home.. Home Sweet Home... <3 :)

Semester Abroad:The beginning..

  A journey begins...

  So as my blog name suggests, I am in Ireland, to be precise, in Cork. 2014, I had planned to be in Boston, doing my semester abroad course at Harvard in Boston, but as always fate had a different plan and I ended up in Cork (a) Corcaigh. 

 I never knew I would be in Cork until 2 weeks back, when my Visa arrived. Within a week of shopping, packing, repacking, etc, I ended up in Dublin airport with my fellow classmates for a semester abroad programme at University college Cork (UCC). 

 I left India on 29th Jan, with as much as 16 people who came to send me off. At that moment I realized how much I have been loved and how lucky I am to have so many people who cared about me. Flight journey was uneventful as I arrived at Dubai airport around mid night. 

1st Impression of Dubai airport:

AMAZING..!!

 I wondered whether the airport had a mall inside or the mall had the airport included. All night around I roamed around the airport, exploring it, and meeting so many new people. So much of cultural diversity one could see at the airport. After a short nap, I got ready to board the flight to Dublin.

 This journey of 8 hours, was purely a bliss with watching movies and flying through the clouds. You could see mountain peaks covered with snow, and oceans so calm, suddenly you fly through a pack of clouds and all you can see is white.

1st Impression of Dublin:

COLD..!! SOO COLD..!!!

 Being used to the temperates of 25 - 40oC, it came as a shock when I stepped out of Dublin airport to the cold winds and a temperature of 4oC. We rushed to zip up our jackets, wear our hoodies and put on our gloves. A new country, with some what new people and we had to figure out on how to get to Cork. Finally, after running here and there we found the non-stop bus to Cork. 

 

Sitting on the bus and looking out as we drove through Dublin to Cork was amazing. Being used to Indian roads and driving, and seeing a different country is always an exciting experience. The bulidings, the farms, the mountains, was beautiful. There would be no words to explain those. Finally as darkness fell we arrived at Cork, at Parnell place, one of the biggest bus terminals, and hailed a taxi to the Hotel we had reserved for a few days stay. 

 And the rest tomorrow..............................

CON-FUSE-D Brain... :/

Life... Its supposed to mean something, right? Or not?

 But I don't feel like it fits into any definition we have ever got for it. Its mysterious at times, but mostly very confusing. What does it all mean? Questions, mostly stupid, unanswerable and crazy have popped up in my mind. I keep trying to justify every day of my life, but it just simply seems impossible.

 Since I started having words for the feelings and thoughts that boggles my mind, I ask myself, what does it all mean? Why do I think like this? Why am I like this? 

 Its a crazy life for sure. Every moment of our life is defined by our mood, or feeling or our perception of the situation we are in. The happiest days or even mintues, of my life I feel so positve and I feel like the sun shines through me. My perception of the world becomes a happier one, and all seems achievable, within ones grasp.

 But the dark days, as they move in, the world seems like its falling apart. A little piece of my soul feels ripped everytime something bad happens. Why is that so? I dont really understand the human mind, or least mine. its boggling and jumbled and i still cant find a perfect word to describe it.

 Or maybe is this how I am supposed to feel? What is right and wrong? There is never a clear definiton for what is right, and what is wrong to feel. there are no boundaries, the lines seem vague and unclear if at all it exists.

 Just in the end, all I can believe in is Life is a mystery, and all I could do is to Deal with it.. Isn't that all I am supposed to do?? 

Happiness has no Limits.. :)

Life is full of moments that are worth sharing, at least worth remembering. I wanna cherish those moments, those feelings, so that someday when am upset or some one is they see this post, or I see it and it puts a smile on my face, just like today. 

 There is always a need for us, to be more humane, or show humanity. I feel a need to see the good in most people. I wanted to do, something on my part for the world, a small change, that surely wouldn't help change everything that happens today but maybe work towards for a better tomorrow.

 As said above I had the opportunity to join a group of similar minded people at 'The Green  Nest', a NGO, made of students like me, helping the society, building them for a bright future. I got into one of their project called 'BookWings'. Boy! Oh boy! was I excited. It was finally a big step for me to help, for me to full fill something that had been nagging me for years. My part, like so many others was to go to an orphanage and teach the kids there English and various other activities.

 There it began, my journey in The Green Nest. The day of my 1st session, I was super excited, hyper and nervous, hoping that I don't mess up. Got onto the bus and arrived at the Barberra Kelly Centre for girls. The girls belonged from 7 till 16 years, had had their breakfast just then and were preparing for their session with us, volunteers. 

 As soon as I entered, I was greeted with smiles all around, with a Good Morning here and there. Being the newbie, I was so nervous that I was get a word out. All I could do was smile, I couldn't help but smile, seeing so many children grinning and smiling at you, as if you were Santa Claus. So as everyone gathered in the study hall, each of us volunteer, was assigned a particular kid to teach. 

 My kids name was Sujitha. She has a sister sushmitha and hails from a family of 5 brothers and sisters. As I sat down to have a chat, the kids started gathering around me, and asking about where I was from, whether I had a sisters, or I can sing or dance. So many smiling faces, shining so brightly, eager to learn about me of all the people in the world. It is priceless. Thus began the class, with me teaching the kid about English, space, the states of India and having a laugh here and there to lighten the mood. The 3 hours went by so fast, all I can remember is a buzz of activities but I can never forget the overflowing of happiness.

 To all of those that feel depressed, miserable, sad, I share this moment with you. I am a sad person for now, but the reason that I make some one smile just once a week makes me live for yet another. There is always someone out there in the world who needs you. Who needs your attention, your smile to make their life better even if it is for a moment. So don't ever give up Hope. 

Time for the Change..!!

 Its been a long time, since I blogged. But here I am, back again. And as usual I have a 'Story' to share with you all. This one's not about a Life lesson but rather about a certain issue, that is faced by the World, that needs change.

 As always my story begins with a train ride. The other day I was coming back from my college with my friends. We were chatting when suddenly we heard music from somewhere. As we looked around, we found a girl maybe of 2 or 3 years dancing around with a hoop. She was crying, with nose running, but still performing. Next to her was her mom, with a baby wrapped around her, playing a tune with some tabla. The little kid was hungry and crying but her mom wouldn't let her stop, she just asked her to keep performing. Then the little kid went around asking for alms.

 This sight bought tears into my eyes, the girl was just a kid. I couldn't ever imagine, a 2 year old performing things that she wasn't even supposed to remember. A kid who was earning to buy the food for her whole family. A responsibility she was thrust with when she didn't even know what it means.

 There are so many stories untold. I just felt helpless that day. A child like her, should have a proper place to live and education. And there I was standing, chatting about things that doesn't even matter. Something drastic should be done, but still poverty can't be solved overnight. Everything begins with a small step.

 Here I am sitting, thinking about that small step I could take to change things, and when I figure it out, I certain will do it. And I do hope you all out there do the same. After all, "Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference has never tried to fall asleep with a mosquito in the room."